We made it! Delayed intensification (or DI in cancer world) is almost over. We were very worried that this would be a horrible 6 weeks. It was bad, but not horrible. Carson was super emotional. He doesn't understand why thing are happening. I try my best to explain them in 3 year old terms but lets face it, he doesn't understand. Blake doesn't either. It was a rough 6 weeks; more so because we were house bound for most of it. Carson ANC(or white solider cell) was low the entire time. This week he is still at 200; meaning he could has pretty much nothing to fight off a common cold, flu, or bacteria.
Carson, Blake and myself have gone stir crazy.
The last 2 weeks I did Carson Chemo at home he had it on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Our plan was to leave his port accessed Thursday-Sunday. Of course Carson being as active as he is, it was impossible. The nurse said it was a much bigger risk if he was to break the needle off in his port rather than to access him daily. I am lucky that my cousin married a very nice girl Audri( a nurse) who offered to help us anytime. I took her up on that the first Sunday. I am trained to access his port but the thought of it scared me. So we went to Jeff and Audri's house and she did it with out a hitch. Once she did it I figured I needed to "tuff-en" up and do it as well. So the 2nd week I accessed him all on my own, talk about NERVOUS! Carson did amazing, never cried or anything. He always says "it going to hurt" I try not to lie to him and say "yes only for a minute". Him and I made a great team. His port is very easy to access, I got it every time on my first try, and was happy to see a blood return each time! He loves to push in his medication, all of them including the Chemo. The nurses at PCMC always let him, and tell me the more control he has the better attitude he will have about it, so we let him do it!
I asked my dad to take some picture of me doing his chemo at home... he took a couple and then said he couldn't watch it, he didn't like seeing his grandson being poked. So this is all I have of his "at home chemo"
I let him go outside for a little bit. He was very excited! I asked him to take a picture and he did his "cheesy" smile!
I am always searching for ideas to keep the kids busy while we are home bound. I got some butcher paper and let them have at it with some finger paint! They enjoyed it.
Brant was able to make the boys a "hut" out of some extra PVC pipe he had in the garage. Blake and Carson love it. Carson like to take his nap in it.
Before he got sick, he would never wear a band-aid. Now he loves them. He thinks any time he bumps any part of his body he has to put a band-aid on it.
I know from the outside looking in it seems like we are "normal" but reality is we are not. We are 7 months down and 23 more to go. I worry about things that a "normal" mom would not. I think about things most people do not. It isn't an easy road. I try to blog about the happier times, because honestly I don't want to remember the sad, bad, stressful, and down right awful times. Each day is a battle not only with Carson, but for myself inside. I wonder why Carson got this horrible cancer, but at the same time wonder why he is doing so good compared to other kids going through the same things. I have been blessed to be part of a "cancer moms group" that allows me to connect with other moms who have children with cancer. There are families on there who have 2 kids that are battling cancer. In the past 2 months we have lost 2 of the moms on our board. There are kids that are faced with hospital stays of 100 + days, or months even. To me yes Carson got a "rough" road but it could be a whole lot worse, I am thankful it is not. I try to stay positive and the more I stay positive I think the better it is for Carson and everyone around us.
Here is a quotes I like...
"If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or fight like hell." -Lance Armstrong
This is so true! I have to have hope, everyone does. We have no other choice than to fight like hell and make it through this!
No comments:
Post a Comment