We were at PCMC for 2 days this past week. One for a LP for them to remove spinal fluid and replace it with Chemo. He gets these every 3 months so it is nothing new to us. The next day we had a MRA. This was requested by CHOP and we were hoping that it would show he had a blood vessel wrapped around his bronchial tube. It didn't. If it would have shown that it was an easy fix. We do not have a clear plan, PCMC here is working on getting the medication needed approved, and CHOP is working on getting all the ducks in a row, before we go out there. They are working with all 8 doctors on their team and our insurance to get everything in line, in case PCMC can not approve the medication needed. I think his airway issue is causing more stress than his cancer! The unknown is hard. All the doctors have told us they are not sure why he has not out grown this, it is rare to have it, and even more rare to not out grow it by age 3 or 4. His cancer complicates it as well.
Make a Wish Utah puts on a Halloween Party each year! We are so happy to attend it. Carson loves to go! This year the boys picked out their own costumes. Blake was Goofy and Carson Scooby. :)
We were able to go to Moab for a night. I had to take a foster boy to court and we made a vacation out of it. They boys LOVE LOVE LOVE vacation houses, aka Hotels, especially if they have swimming pools. They were out cold by 715 and I enjoyed some me time while they slept.
I was humbled once again tonight. A friend from High School Reached out to share Carson's story. I share his story openly and proudly. Because for one it is cheap therapy :), but the most important part is to raise awareness Before he was diagnosed I didn't know how many kids got cancer. I didn't know how many families were effected. I wish I did. I remember walking through the halls of PCMC and always being thankful we didn't have to go to the "4th" floor. We were lucky. He only had a airway issue. God had other plans for him. The day we found out is burned into my memory. Having other reached out to me in my families time of need, and our time of trial, is humbling. I am thankful for each and every person who reaches out, even just to say I am thinking of you. Those get me through the hard times. Those who have reached out to help financially you don't know how much it means. The costs of cancer are overwhelming. I am often asked how we manage. With lots of prayers, and help from others. One day I will be able to not only give back what has been given to us, but give so much more. Because there will be a mom sitting where I am now, and I will be able to help her get through it, just as others have helped my family.
Carson "Tuff Boy" Hancock was born Friday, February 13, 2009. He spent the first 5 days of his life in the NICU; with a rare airway condition called Bronchial Malaysia, causing his airway to be weak and narrow. His Father (Brant Hancock) wanted to name him “Tuff” because he was a very “Tuff” baby from the very beginning! “Tuff Boy” stuck as Carson’s nick-name. Carson’s first surgery was when he was just 6 months old and he has since had 5 surgeries for his airway. You would think that would be enough for one little boy to endure in his very young life, but on May 10th, 2012 our sweet little 3 year old “Tuff Boy” was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Within hours of the diagnoses he was rushed into surgery and immediately started chemo therapy. His Father and I were paralyzed with grief! Why Carson? Hasn't he already been through enough? What if he can’t beat it? We feared the worst!
Mother’s day that year was spent in the hospital with me holding Carson and my own Mother holding me while I cried my heart out for my sweet little boy. The next morning I knew we had to fight! Not only fight, but fight with the best attitude possible and reach out to as many people as we could to gather support! I would NOT let cancer get the best of me or Carson. Since that Mother’s Day, Carson has had 15 Lumbar punctures to receive chemotherapy directly into his spine, as well as 2 surgeries on his airway from his original condition at birth. Carson has endured countless pokes, surgeries, hospital stays, horrible medications and many, many sick days - and yet he continues to fight and be happy and act like any normal 4-year old. He loves to play and recently participated in the Mutton Bustin Competition at the rodeo. Carson will continue to receive chemotherapy treatments until July 2015! That will be 3.5 years of treatment.
The hardest part of this journey is that people don't realize he is sick. He acts normal. We try to make him NORMAL. We don't want cancer to take us over, we don't want cancer to take more than it already has, and will. He can go from being fun, loving, sweet boy and 10 minutes later have a fever of 103 and we are off to the hospital. 5 days each month he takes steroids, this is the worse part of the journey; he doesn't just take a small amount he takes a lot. If you have ever had to take steroids for anything you know they come with hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and just plain grouchy. He has all of this times 20! He eats till he can't chew, he has mood swings that put Toddler and Tiara show to shame. I hide his brother in another room because it is too hard on him to not understand why yesterday his brother was fine and today, he is a crazy person. He struggles to know what is happening, and has a look of lost in his eyes. Those 5 days each month I dread, I pray more in 5 days than I do any other time in the month. I don't share these details with many, for one it is hard for me to relive them, I barley survive them. 2- I hate to drag everyone on a sob story, to me that is letting cancer win. We live each day, because tomorrow a blood test could and can change our whole world. A simple cold, can put us in a whirl wind for days, weeks, or even months.
These are my two favorite quotes...
"“If children have the ability to ignore all odds and percentages, then maybe we can all learn from them. When you think about it, what other choice is there but to hope? We have two options, medically and emotionally: give up, or Fight Like Hell.”-Lance Armstrong
When someone has cancer, the whole family and everyone who loves them does, too.-Terri Clark
Him having cancer isn't just about him. It has effected our whole family, and friend network. Yet Kids have hope! When you look into their eyes you know they have hope. When you believe there is hope, and a reason God has chosen each of us for the journey, there is hope.
I often wonder if I would do it all again. When I think about the hard times I think there is no way. But when I see that smile on his face, that laugh that can make a bad day GREAT. YES I would. I would do it all again. I wouldn't change a moment. It has shaped our whole family. It has given us the most important lesson this far in life. I hope these are the hard lesson we are to learn.
We walked, for those fighting, for those who have fought, for those who earned their wings, for the moms, dads, sisters,brothers, and extended family who live with a cancer diagnoses! No child should have to suffer through what so many children do!
