6 Months Carson has been done with Treatment! WOW does that ring a bell! As I sit here today it is 190 days since he took his last Chemo pill! 190 DAYS!
Things have been GOOD! Things have been more normal! Something I had wished for, was just a simple normal life! For the most part we have been that way. We had a scare in December, that Carson had relapsed. THANK GOODNESS it was a false alarm. Though for a few days my head was spinning none stop! But we were able to go through Christmas, we were able to have an amazing Christmas thanks to so many who helped us make that happen!
The fear of Carson's cancer returning is to say the least always still there. I will look at him some days and he is fine, and like a normal kid, other times I look at him and it is as if I can see each Chemo medication, each scare, and each fever all wrapped up in that little body of his. He gets a cough, or he gets a runny nose, I hold my breath. We choose to not see our Oncologist each month, as it is an hour drive to the hospital each way. We see our local doctor, Dr. Corry does a CBC and looks Carson over. To us it is less strain on him and us to do this.
I say that we have "normal" back, and we do. Though the "late effects" are there, he struggles with keeping up with other kids, he struggles with learning and being behind his classmates, he struggles with being tired. As a mom it is such a fine line we walk knowing when to push and when to retreat with him. Most days their dad is at work, and not able to help make the "call" on what is best for him, leaving me the decisions up to me. I always question what is the "right" call, what is the best thing for him. I go with my gut, and hope it is the right call.
I hope one day that we will no longer live in fear, that one day no one will fear cancer! But for now we live with it, and we choose to make the best of everything. I vowed when Carson was diagnosed, we wouldn't let cancer take anymore than it had to, and I think overall we did a great job at still living the best we could! Now he is done with treatment, I think we will continue to try to live our life! Try to live with good attitudes, make memories, enjoy the small things, enjoy each day we are given, because if there is one thing I can say for sure is that cancer has taught us to do all of this. I don't want to sound as if I am grateful for Stupid %&#$ cancer but, it has taught us a lot!
